See that guy jumping in the picture? That is what it felt like to tell everyone I’m a medium!
If you met the me from 2010 you wouldn’t recognize me as the person I am today. No, I didn’t dye my hair, get surgery, or drastically change my style. What I changed was my outlook, perception, and pretty much everything else on the inside. My outlook on life was anything less than beautiful…and to be honest I didn’t exactly like the person that I was and it showed. Maybe it didn’t show in my appearance but instead in the words that I spoke, how I carried myself, and the way I treated myself and my body.
Recognizing that I no longer wanted to be that person was huge and it changed me forever, but it wasn’t easy. I had to put in the work, be diligent, and remind myself daily that I never wanted to go back to who I was. Realizing that only I was to blame for any discomfort in my life was a hard pill to swallow, but I eventually got it down and when I did my world opened up.
As you probably already know I have been a medium since I was a child but I did everything I could to shut it down. I ignored it, denied it, and even got put on medication for it! When I shifted my mindset and started living a higher-vibrational life there was no more denying it. So here I am; quite a few years later living life as a full-time psychic medium.
I’ve told you before what it’s like to be clairaudient and how being clairvoyant is a bit different than you think. Now I want to tell you what it’s been like behind the scenes, how it has affected my daily life and relationships.
When it stings
Over the summer while casually hanging out in a friend’s pool, the subject of mediumship came up and it turned into a conversation that I will never forget.
“It’s nice that I know you and know who you are as a person. It gives me comfort in knowing that psychics aren’t totally full of it like I’ve always thought. I know you aren’t, so it’s just kind of cool to know that this stuff could actually be real.” – Close guy friend
“Yea either that or she just doesn’t know that she is full of it” said another person.
Everyone laughed and so did I (uncomfortably) but ouch! That one stung a lot more than I lead on.
We as mediums face this kind of thing all of the time and it hurts a lot more than we will probably ever allow you to see. None of this is easy for us to tell you; so making a mockery of us stings and it stings bad. We understand that it’s not easy for you to understand, but on the same token it’s not easy for us to see, feel, and hear things that most people around us can not. Please don’t make us feel like anymore of an outcast than we already do.
My heart practically pounds out of my chest every time I tell someone what I do; I never know how someone is going to react! Will they accept me, ask me a million questions, or are they going to ridicule me and tell me that I’m going to hell? Being a medium doesn’t make my life any easier when it comes to the general public so why on Earth would I make it up?
On the other hand, sometimes people surprise you!
Pretty much everyone in my friend group knew that I was a medium except for two people…the two people we hung out with the most. You see the male in the relationship is known for being political and comes from a pretty religious background. Naturally I was afraid of how he would react, but both they surprised me!
“I heard you uh have a new little business venture going on…”
Me (a little squeamish) – “Yesssss, sorry I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t know how you would feel about it.”
“Hey man, I think it’s cool. I’m proud of you! It’s not something I know very much about and in all honesty I can’t judge what I don’t know.”
We then proceeded to talk about business, website development, and things of that nature. Admittedly it isn’t something I bring up every time we hang out but it’s out there, on the table, and it’s a huge weight off of my shoulders. His wife was super cool about it too, she started She then told me as long as I don’t start giving readings to random strangers while we are out everything is cool with her. I got you girl…promise not to do that!
When it comes to family I keep it light, I don’t talk about it most of the time. The biggest thing so far was telling everyone I was leaving my corporate job.
“But you have such a good job!”
I had a well paying job, yes I worked for an established company, and the job would be a GREAT job for someone who enjoyed it.
The old me gave up on her dreams of being an artist and decided that as long as I was being independant, that would be enough. I got a job right out of school working for a CPA, then I kept climbing the ladder, taking the next highest paying job doing exactly the same thing. I learned all there was to know about the in’s and out’s of running an office from the back end. I got really good at it, but it didn’t fulfill me one bit. I yearned for something more.
I just couldn’t do that anymore no matter how “good” the job was or how “great” the pay. How could I deliver messages from spirit, teach self-love, and acceptance of self if I wasn’t doing the same thing? Eventually I was bound to burnout and guess what? I did!
I think one of the most frustrating things for me thus far has not been the lack of belief in what I do, I expected that. It’s been the lack of belief in ME; the belief that I could do something other than manage an office. For years I was told to stay in the same field because that is what I was good at and yea, looking back maybe it’s good that I did. If I had switched careers before, who knows if I would have had the time to work on myself, develop my gifts, and build a website?
The sheer fact that family encouraged me to stay in a position that I hated just because it was comfortable and safe is the one thing that really gets me goin’. Not only because it made me feel that maybe I wasn’t good enough to do something else, but also because it proved to me that this is how most of society’s minds work!
We do something, stay somewhere, or don’t open our minds because we are safe and comfortable where we are. Doing what we are doing, knowing what we know, some people act like this is all there is.
Well I am here to tell you that stepping OUT of my comfort zone was the best thing I have ever done for myself. Not only am I helping to open minds, helping others develop their gifts, but I am now a voice for this community.
I help as many people as I can, in any way that I can; it’s my nature. Every email that comes through my inbox is answered as honestly and compassionately as possible. I speak out when the time is appropriate about what I do and I try to expand minds. That’s what goes on in my day to day life; all while trying to uphold this image of a professional, down to Earth, business woman just so that people will take me seriously before judging me or what I do.
As Amanda Linette Meder says in her recent article
“I consciously think about what I wear, how I talk, how I present myself, and even how I comment on people’s problems in everyday conversation. I reflect on what memes I double tap on Instagram. I question writing bad reviews for businesses who already know who I am what I do, because then a judgment is not only cast on me but on all mediums and those of my type.”