My Life

My Psychic Story – Part 5

My Story part 5

 

My story part 5

Growing up my household was far from a white picket fence and “welcome home honey’s.” It wasn’t what I thought of as ideal, I had a lot of negativity in my home and a lot of responsibility for someone my age. I didn’t understand it then and all I wanted was OUT! I’m not saying I had a terrible childhood because I didn’t; my grandparents were awesome and gave me the world! My mom had me at a pretty young age and always calls me her “practice child”…she admits that she made some mistakes but we all do; she loves me and I know that! Whether or not it was the way I wanted my life to be, I now understand that it was the way that it needed to be.

There was a lot of fighting growing up…a lot. I felt stuck, I felt like a teen mom at times and I felt like I was missing out on parts of being a teenager. I was taking care of my sisters about four nights a week; feeding them, bathing them, cleaning up after them, changing their diapers…all of that. I loved my sisters but I just wanted to be a kid myself!

My mom worked nights and my step-dad usually had too many after work drinks; it was often just me and the girls in the evenings. I became bitter with my parents and I started to really truly resent them; I was sick of the fighting and the yelling and the drinking. I became angry and I started self-medicating quite often…not the answer, I know. I just wanted some sort of escape!

Instead of changing the environment they tried to change ME. I was considered irrational and crazy and I was put on all kinds of medications…which made me crazier. I was severely depressed and had constant thoughts of suicide or running away. I couldn’t leave my siblings behind and I couldn’t do that to my mom or grandparents; so I just stayed in this vicious cycle for years.

When I moved out I instantly became a much happier person…it was like a 10 ton weight was lifted right off of my shoulders. I was no longer in a constant state of depression; I no longer cringed at the thought of having to go home, I still had a negative mindset but I was doing much better!

Stupid, horrible, dumb, hate, lame, and other negative words were a part of every sentence that came out of my mouth…even when I was happy! It was how I was raised and I just didn’t see anything wrong with the words I was speaking. When I had my son I realized that I was still a pretty negative person and I couldn’t keep slipping back into these seasons of depression; it was time to pull it together and change my entire mindset!

I did and when I did…I started connecting with spirit almost immediately!

When I decided I wanted to live a more positive life, all sorts of things within and around me changed. My relationship with my husband got better, I slowly stepped away from friend’s who were holding me back, I even started to have a better relationship with my mom. I started to accept myself and my flaws as beautiful and from there I did the same with others. I began to understand that there is a reason for the situations we go through in life, even if we can’t see them.

I finally began to love myself for the first time in my entire life.

I did all of this through being aware of my thoughts and the words I spoke. I did this through affirmations and lifting myself and others UP instead of talking DOWN about them. I did this through meditation.

When I started meditating I opened up my abilities and they haven’t shut off since!

I noticed that during meditations I could feel the presence of someone behind me, I started hearing my grandfather’s voice very often, and I started seeing all kinds of images. My dreams intensified and some would even come to fruition.

I was HAPPY, really truly unmedicatedly HAPPY for the first time since I was a child.

I was meditating daily, sometimes multiple times a day. I started seeing colors brighter, I started seeing sparkles in the air, and I started communicating with my guides.

Something shifted inside of me when I decided I wanted to change. I got to know myself and in the process I discovered that I actually had a lot to offer. For so many years I felt that I had nothing to offer, I felt I was weird, and I felt that I was hard to love. Once I found that sense of peace…once I WOKE UP, I never wanted to go to sleep again!

I started working with my spirit team constantly and I found my calling.

I know what it feels like to cry yourself to sleep every night asking “why this is my life?” The answer is to make you stronger! To show you what you are capable of!

I am grateful for my parents and for my past, I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for them. Take every challenge as a lesson. Learn from it, GROW from it! Who knows…you may even find something out about yourself that will change your life forever, It happened to me!

Sometimes people just need to remember to love themselves to be able to remember how beautiful life truly is.

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