There was a pivotal moment in my life when I felt like I woke up from a dream and everything around me looked different. For months I had been learning about the Law Of Attraction, reading about spirituality, and attempting to meditate.
At the same time, I had a new baby, was dealing with some postpartum depression, and I was trying to pump breast milk in an office building with a supervisor that was highly unsupportive.
“If she wants to do that then maybe she should be a stay at home mom instead of working here.” – Unsupportive Boss to HR Manager
To say that things were rocky at that time in my life would have been an understatement. But hey! At least I didn’t have to pump breastmilk in a bathroom stall anymore! Through it all, I was doing my best to stay grounded, get happy, and be my best version – whoever that was.
3 times a day I went into an empty office to make food for my newborn baby. I walked down the hall – bag in hand – and past a bitter supervisor. He believed that 10 minutes should have been enough to make said milk, clean it all up, and get back to my desk while also working from a laptop the entire time. I felt like I was doing the walk of shame each trip there and back.
One out of those three times a day I decided that I would take an actual break and just be. I opted to use that break to explore different types of meditation. Who knew that one could go so deep within thy self while simultaneously being hooked up to a milk machine? What a wonderful world we live in right? All things are always possible 🙂
From my research, I knew that I was going through an awakening.
I knew that I was having breakthroughs, breakdowns, and people were falling out of my life because of this awakening. I knew that I was changing and I could see the world responding to me differently. It was, and for the most part, it was subtle. Until that day.
Until the day I had a meditation that woke me from a lifelong sleep and revealed to me a world I have never seen before. It was a binaural beats meditation that lasted about 25 minutes.
That was the first time I ever felt completely blissed out. As I took out my headphones, unplugged myself from the milk robot, and packed up my bag, I remember feeling different. I felt as if I were in a cartoon or like life wasn’t real. I don’t even know how to explain it, but I remember it all so vividly.
As I opened the door and made my way into the hallway, the ceilings looked shorter. The floors looked higher. People looked softer and colors were more vivid than ever; it was magical, and it was confusing.
I remember feeling like I had just woken up from a deep sleep and that this-this was a living dream.
The rest of the day I didn’t really talk to anyone or do anything. I was on cloud 9, but no words could express what I was feeling or experiencing. I just was … I just was.
I had been going through an awakening for a while, but that day something inside me cracked open, and life hasn’t been the same since.
The way I saw colors with radically fresh eyes is the one thing that sticks out in my mind the most. Colors had never looked so vivid, and they still do years later. That day I started to see people differently. I began to accept them on their path wherever that was. I began to feel sad for people who didn’t treat themselves well, I started to genuinely get so excited when I saw good things happening for even strangers. My spirit shifted, and for the first time in my life, I felt AWAKE!
Life became illuminated in all directions, and I was seeing things not from the ego-driven human level but from a soul level.
The conflicting issue about all of this was that everything I thought I knew and understood was no more. The truths I had always known were gone. I was questioning everything, and my mind was in complete overload.
I spoke differently, I observed differently, I asked myself questions about everything and everyone. I yearned to understand because for the first time I was awake and saw things so much differently than ever before.
I was a baby in an adult body, and I knew absolutely nothing. It was beautiful, and it was magical, and it was messy. This is what it’s like to go through an awakening.
Everything shifts, everything changes, everything looks different. Your world gets completely shaken and disheveled, but as we go through it, we smile because for the first time we can see that everything is in perfect order. When we step into this new consciousness, we start encountering precisely what our soul needs to grow including an understanding of why we came here in the first place.