Today we are plunging into self-recognition so that we can go deeper into our own healing. Victimization is a real thing and it’s a difficult habit to break. Whether you’re the victim or you’re victimizing another it’s time to break the cycle. It’s time to start telling a new story.
I’ve been the victim. I’ve victimized myself and I’ve victimized another.
Recently I bought myself a reading, something I don’t often have time to do anymore. One of the first things that came through was to let people play the victim if they feel inclined to do so. Spirit reminded me that it’s their path and their story. I had to realize and remember that I can only help people go as far as they want to go. If they aren’t willing to go farther, dig deeper, or put in the work there is nothing I can do about it.
It made more sense than I care to admit and the message wasn’t just geared towards my clients. The message from spirit was talking about a multitude of people in my life.
As an empath and a medium, it’s literally my job to help other people heal. I am to show them their blocks and then help to remove them. It’s my job to show them what they can do to improve all areas of their life.
It’s hard to know that someone has the capability and potential to change their circumstance but because they don’t believe in themselves, nothing changes. It’s hard not to interfere but it’s not my job to interfere.
It’s my job to relay the spirit messages and to plant the seed. It’s their job to water it and make it grow.
I can lovingly encourage, strongly advise, and I can be a shoulder to lean on. What I can not do is force people to do something they don’t want to or aren’t ready to do. It’s a hard pill to swallow but sometimes people are happy to be the victim.
Let’s be honest at one point in our lives we’ve all played the victim and somewhat enjoyed the attention.
For me, it was having people validate that I was in a negative household and an unhealthy environment as a kid. Having people who witnessed it all tell me “I saw what you went though and it sucked” made me feel better for a second or two. So, in moments such as those – it almost feels good to be the victim.
So yes guys, I do practice what I preach.
How do we untangle ourselves out of that mess though? How do we STOP playing the victim and start living life fully without letting our circumstances hold us back?
The first step to battling addiction is to admit that you have a problem. In other words, if you’re not willing to admit you’re playing the victim then you can never overcome playing the victim.
I once said to a family member “quit playing the victim” in the middle of a heated argument. I felt terrible but at the same time, I felt it had to be said. She had been telling herself the same story for years and years.
I’m sure you’ve heard a similar story before, yes?
“If you were in my shoes you should see things differently. I had this happen to me and then this. After that I lost my job then I had this and this happen.”
But all of the “this’s and that’s” were 5-10-15 years ago. Surely at some point, there was an opportunity to change something – to make things better, right? It’s not a matter of circumstance but a matter of will, of drive, and of being completely honest with… yourself.
So that’s step one. Look at your story, see how long you’ve been telling it, be honest with yourself. Now you’re ready to change.
The truth hurts but staying stagnant in the same spot for years at a time is excruciating. Eventually, people are going to stop being loving and encouraging towards your situation. They are going to tell you they’ve given you all the advice they can it’s time for you to make a decision. The decision? Stay stuck or dig yourself out.
Start with baby steps – look y’all Rome wasn’t built in a day. So unless you’re crazy-magical your new empire is going to take some shaping and sculpting too.
Start telling a new story.
“Yea I had some unfortunate things happen in my life but they taught me SO much. I absolutely would not be the person I am today without those things having happened. I’m realizing now that I am an incredibly strong individual. If I can get through that then man, I can get through anything. I’m pretty bad as*”
Write down what you want your life to look like! Be as elaborate as you want. Don’t think it’s can’t happen for you because it can but only if you believe and make the effort.
Once you write it down take one action step towards one of your goals.
Example: if you haven’t had a job in 6 years because you lost it, had babies, and then life happened but you’re struggling financially start applying to places of interest. Don’t even bother applying somewhere that you already dread working at. That’s just going to be another opportunity to play the victim and you’ve come so far you’re not going back there! Take small but effective baby steps.
Keep going. One action step after another. The law of attraction is amazing but it doesn’t work by saying “ok Universe this is what I want now drop it in my lap.”
It works by saying “ok Universe this is what I want and I trust that you will deliver. In the meantime, I’ve started meditating, journaling, and visualizing. I also started a small blog to get my ideas and thoughts out there to whoever needs them.”
Just like with a good workout you’re going to want to give up at times. It’s easy to stop because no one likes hard work or feeling uncomfortable. The beauty comes from the accomplishment from realizing that you ARE capable. It’s glorious to realize that you are no longer the victim but the changemaker! No one ever regretted finishing their workout but they always regret giving up.
Do your mirror work, be grateful for your experiences and what you already have.
Do your affirmations and surround yourself with positive influences.
Separate yourself from the people who are draining your energy. Not because you don’t love them but because it’s what is best for you.
Teach people what you know but learn when to let go. If they want to play the victim, let them it’s not your path to decide. It is however up to you to be the change maker and stop being the victim yourself.