Can we take a moment to just real, please? Is it true that spiritual awakenings end relationships? What are you supposed to do when you’re spiritual and want to work on yourself, and your partner isn’t aligned with any of it?Can your relationship survive when you’re seemingly on opposite ends of the spiritual spectrum?
It was like meeting myself for the first time when I was navigating my awakening. Everything was genuinely changing for me, but it felt good! It felt like I was finally on the right path, yet I was questioning everything I knew up until that point.
I had changed the way I thought, the way I spoke, the people I wanted to be around, and even my interests. I was going through a spiritual awakening, and my partner had no idea what that was like. For months I didn’t tell my partner I was working on myself, was interested in spirituality, or that I had started a blog. I was becoming a new person, and she was unrecognizable to both of us.
Amid my great shake up (aka awakening), not surprisingly, we were also in the midst of a vast transitional season in life. We sold our home so quickly that we had to move our entire family into one room at my mother’s house. At the same time, we found a home in our dream location that needed to be completely renovated. Side note: Have you ever heard the saying, “if a marriage can get through a renovation, it can get through anything?” It’s true, and while you’re at it, try adding an awakening to it and see how exciting things get. HA!
After working on the house one day, we were stuck in traffic on the hour drive back to my mother’s house. We start talking about my new found path, giving readings, talking to spirit, etc. Things were getting intense.
“I’m sorry, but it’s weird. All of it is weird. They don’t give you a book on what to do when your wife talks to dead people.”
To him, I was no longer the girl he met, fell in love with, or even married. I didn’t laugh at the same jokes or didn’t engage in the same conversations. We had always been opposites but never had we been on entirely different wavelengths. I’ve shared this story before, but every time it’s still as gut-wrenching.
At that time, we were in the hardest season of our marriage to date. We were figuring out who we were, renovating a house, switching up careers, and we had a baby. Life was challenging my beliefs and my relationship, but I stood in my trust. I told him that this is who I was and who I had always been. I also told him that if he couldn’t accept it, then he could go. Well, y’all that was almost five years ago, and he’s still here. A few months after that conversation, he told me he was proud of me. He told me that he had never seen me so driven or happy and that whatever I was doing (though he still didn’t understand it) was working, and he could tell.
Here is what I have learned from being spiritual with a partner who is not.
No matter if you’re going through an awakening or you’re just five years into your relationship, you’re not always going to be the same person. We have different seasons in life, and we are supposed to grow and change; if we aren’t, that is a problem in itself.
We have to learn to accept each other and support our partner in their life decisions, even if we don’t understand them. We are not meant to be an exact mirror to our partners; we are meant to help them grow! Which means teaching them, being teachable, and yes, even challenging each other a bit.
The biggest lesson I learned from all of this is to lead by example. At one point, I was continually oversharing about my spiritual work, crystals, and every spirit energy I felt it was just too much for him. I didn’t yet understand what I was going through, so how could I expect him or anyone else to? I had to realize that letting him (and everyone else) see the change in me was the most significant statement I could make. Shoving my truths and beliefs down his throat did both of us a disservice.
We can plant seeds of change, but it’s not our job to water them. When we lead with love and acceptance, it will be given back, and if it’s not …., then you know it’s not the right fit. We must also remember that we aren’t all meant to walk the same path, but that doesn’t mean our partner’s path can’t be next to ours.
My husband now has a great mindset, and on the days where my vibration is low, he is the first one to call me on it. He actually will help me shift my perspective when I am focusing on lack. I like to think that through my lifestyle and example together, we have strengthened our marriage, abundance, and mindsets.
I still talk about synchronicity, and he still calls it a coincidence. He’s the ground to my sky, and I’m the trust to his how. Together, we’ve got this! Life is all about balance, and we certainly balance each other out.
You can have a partner that isn’t spiritual even when you are, and it will likely help you both in the end!
Want to know more about awakening? Below are some helpful materials!
