Why I Am Grateful I Got Covid
What I am about to say is going to shock a lot of people. It might even make a few people angry, but the truth is I am incredibly grateful I got Covid-19. I understand that Covid has taken lives, ruined businesses, and has caused a great divide in our world, and of course, I am sympathetic to all of that.
What I am sharing today is not meant to turn into a political debate, though I’m sure it will feel that way for some. My reason for writing this article is to share my personal experience with Covid-19 and why I am grateful that I had it.
Covid-19 gave me a new and much higher perspective. It taught me to love my body again, and it revealed where I had been unkind to myself.
If you’ve been with me for a while, then you know last February I had a major stomach surgery that was more traumatic and extensive than I could have ever prepared myself for. The recovery time to start doing normal physical activity is generally 3 months… mine was more like 5 long months. I felt like I was lacking purpose, though I know that’s not true. The post-surgery blues were lying to me about my worth.
I felt I was a burden to my family and was letting my clients and community down by not posting and showing up regularly. I also felt like I was letting myself down as I had no mental energy to read, write, or even meditate most days. It was a tough season, to say the least.
Each day of my recovery, I would casually thank my body for healing, thank my guides for helping me through, and then “push” myself a little harder to smash the doctor’s recommended recovery time.
After a few months of recovery, I thought I was getting back to normal, but then something strange happened: the girl who never gets sick (aka me) was getting sick constantly. I was catching every small cold and stomach bug the kids dragged in. I felt like I could look at a sick person and catch what they had from 100 feet away.
I noticed the pattern happening but “pushed” myself harder instead of slowing down. I pushed my body to recover more quickly so I could get back to life as normal. It didn’t work – it backfired.
Then August came. “Mrs. Strong! Congratulations! You have naturally vaccinated yourself, you have Covid!”
I dug my doctor’s sense of humor but couldn’t help but be super annoyed that I had Covid. I mean, I had spent my whole summer either being sick or taking care of sick people and once again I felt like a burden and I felt shame for not being able to show up as my best. Once again, my kids didn’t get the best of me and my husband had to take care of me.
“Dear Universe, what is going on? Can I just release this PATTERN please? I’m fu*king over it! Why did you give me Covid right now?” (Clearly I was throwing a pity party!)
As always, the universe pushed me to get my answer. I felt guided to journal and got to the root of this pattern. That journaling session changed my life and how I will look at Covid-19 forever.
Why I am Grateful I got Covid-19
I called in my guides, angels, and higher-self and I asked to be shown the highest perspective. I used the techniques I teach my clients and I got out of my own way. Covid-19 was a gift to me and put me back into alignment with how I get to treat myself and my body.
My Journaling Session About Covid-19
Since surgery, my focus wasn’t on healing to feel my best, but recovering so that I could do things. Often, I got mad at myself when I couldn’t walk or bathe by myself after surgery. Anger flooded me and I felt guilt because I didn’t do self-work like reading and journaling during my recovery and chose trashy tv shows instead. I have been so hard on myself.
Though I did thank my body daily for healing, there was no emotion behind it. The words were simply out of habit and obligation. I didn’t see her or listen to her or ask her what she NEEDED. All I did for months was push, degrade, and talk down to my body for not being at full physical and energetic capacity right after one of the toughest surgeries a person can have.
I deserved better. I didn’t realize it, but I was being awful to myself – not so much with my words but with my lack of compassion and understanding for all my body had been through. Covid-19 changed this and allowed me to tune into my vessel.
I had a major breakdown and breakthrough during that journaling session. I realized that my body was yearning to be listened to. She didn’t need to go full throttle; she needed to be acknowledged.
My body needed true rest, true compassion, true forgiveness.
In that moment I forgave:
Myself for being so hard on my body.
My mind for not being as sharp and strong because the energy I had was going to healing I couldn’t even see.
I forgave myself for being so angry at my body for not having energy and feeling depleted all the time.
I let go of the anger I had around all the sicknesses this summer and saw them for what they were – opportunities to slow down and ask my body what she needed.
I forgave myself for acting so militant with myself while trying to stick to routines and for feeling shame around not being able to do for those I love.
I forgave Covid-19 for all it has put our world through with financial, emotional, and physical struggles. I forgave Covid-19 for the loss we have all experienced and for the mental hardships we’ve suffered through. When I say ‘we,’ I mean our world, your family, and mine.
Then I thanked Covid. I thanked it for all it has taught me. I thanked it for it slowing me down and for this opportunity to reconnect with myself. I thanked it for the lessons and for the losses and for the mental hardships. Covid-19 gave me a new perspective on life and why we are all going through this together whether you catch it, get vaccinated, believe in it or not.
Covid-19 has given me the greatest gift – a much MUCH deeper LOVE FOR MYSELF and all people. The final message I got from my spirit team that night regarding Covid-19 was this:
“It was never here to hurt you, though we are sorry it has caused such turmoil. This disease has been given to the Earth for the uprising of a new vibration. One will experience the breakthrough in their own way and on their own path and in their own perfect time. The lessons will be different for all individually but the overall lesson is to remember and regain your sense of truth and knowledge within your own being. Those lessons will, of course, show up differently and look differently for all but once the lesson is recognized, the pattern will be broken and their individual vibration will raise.
There is no right or wrong as to what one should do. There is only their own truth and the rising of consciousness. Don’t worry, dear one, all is not lost! All is yet to be gained! You’re all shifting and rising; it’s just a matter of allowing and awareness. Goodnight, divine being, goodnight.”
And the next morning, I woke up feeling 90% better. Create space, ask yourself (body, mind, and spirit what it needs), and align with your own divine intuition.
With grace,
Ashley Strong
