Today’s blog post comes from a reader question, and I am VERY excited to talk about if psychics and mediums can actually give specifics!
P Writes:
“Hi, Ashley,
I believe in spirits, and I believe some people can communicate with them. However, all my experiences with psychics and mediums have been disappointing. They always seem to be guessing, and their messages never prove they are actually communicating with a spirit.
The psychics and mediums I have known always ask a lot of questions, trying to get some information they can take off from.
For example, “Are you working now?” “No, I’m off for the summer.” “Oh, are you a teacher?” “Yes.” “Do you teach history?” “No.” “English?” “No.” “Philosophy?” “No.” “Psychology?” “Yes.” “I knew it! I knew it wasn’t math.”
My theory is that psychic abilities cannot be turned on at will. So if you are doing a reading for a client, and are not getting any messages, you just have to rely on common sense guessing.
I hope you can answer me because my experiences have been so frustrating. It does not prevent me from being spiritual and believing in life after death. But it does make me wonder how people can fool themselves and others so easily.
Maybe your powers are real and reliable. I would like to know your opinion. Do you ever rely on common sense when you aren’t getting a message for a client? Do you ever get a message from spirits that you could not possibly guess? For example, the spirit calling your client by a name only the two of them know about? Or talking about an unusual experience they had together?
I have NEVER seen a medium do this, on any TV show, or in real life. Even the most famous TV mediums do lots of guessing, give a lot of vague and general messages, and are often wrong.”
Hi P!
Thank you so much for writing in AND inspiring a blog post for the community! This is a great topic and one that I am pleased to elaborate on!
What you mention above is known as cold-reading and is honestly what gives psychics and mediums a bad name! Cold-reading is when the reader asks the client questions as you mentioned above. This gives them more information and is a segway into using that method of “common sense reading,” as you said.
Cold-reading is typically done by asking leading questions but also by reading body language, facial expressions, watching the hands, etc. When someone is worried about getting a phone session versus a live session, I always tell people that I and many others I know prefer to do phone sessions to enhance the accuracy of the reading. You see if I can’t see you and you can’t see me the only place to get information from is energy and spirit!
It’s disgusting to me (a harsh term I know) that people are still doing this and to be honest, without putting anyone entirely on blast this is the reason I quit doing large conferences. I could hear and see others around me doing cold-reading techniques to the people who sat in front of them. These poor people would be eating up everything the “psychic” was saying to them as they were looking for healing and comfort. It broke my heart. I uphold an extreme standard of ethics for myself and the students I teach soI just couldn’t be a part of such conferences once I realized what was going on.
When Psychics Ask You Questions
To be 100% upfront and honest, I will take questions, but I do not require them. I give all of my clients the option to submit up to three questions. They can also request a loved one to be present, but I only accept the first name or relationship – not both. These are optional, and I always remind people that we can just do a general reading to see who steps forward and what information shows up. (See how to get the most out of a reading here)
There is only one reason I even accept questions, and that is because people will come to a reading looking to get specific questions answered, and when they don’t get them answered they leave sad or disheartened. That said, even if you present questions, your team may not answer those if there is something of much greater importance that needs to come through.
Here is the thing though…spirit knows what we need to hear. Spirit knows what we need to be working on within ourselves, what our next steps could be, the battles we are fighting, and the unhealed traumas that will set us free once a light is shone on them. In an authentic and valid mediumship reading things should come up that only you and/or your spirit team will know about.
Mediumship readings are for healing and guidance – not entertainment!
I take what I do very seriously and honestly believe that it is sacred work. Once I went to a “psychic” who saw the sadness on my face, took advantage of me, and told me it would take $400 to remove a curse from me. I never heard from that “psychic” again. You can read that whole story here.
I was heartbroken and bitter on top of already being sad and angry. Like you, however, something kept pushing me towards my spirituality, and I decided to give it another go a few years later. I met a medium named Wendy, who gave me a phone reading that changed my life forever! She brought up the internal battles I had faced throughout life, told me I “was not crazy” and that I too was a medium, brought through a friend of mine that had crossed over, and the list goes on.
I spoke maybe 5 words the entire time. Wendy was a psychic medium who was beyond accurate, and if it weren’t for her, I would probably be still be sitting in a puddle of depression and negative thought patterns.
Psychic Mediums can be extremely accurate, and a mediumship reading can be incredibly healing!
To finish up, you had asked if I use common sense during my sessions to give messages. This may be the first time I have ever admitted to not using my common sense (I am laughing so hard right now) but no. No, I do not use common sense when giving readings. Not only do I not use common sense, but I also never try to make things “fit.” If something is not resonating with someone, I accept that, and we move on. I never ever will try to mold something into a message – it is highly unethical and misleading.
How Do I Give Mediumship Readings?
I sit down and do automatic writing for about 20 minutes before I ever get my client on the phone. Then I read those messages to the client before we get started with the “live session.” Why do I do this? It’s spirits way of introducing me to my client, and it lets me know who they are and what their life is like. It also gives the client a way of feeling comfortable with me, knowing that the information that came through had to come from spirit as we had never talked before. This completely eliminates the capability to do any type of “cold-reading.”
The only questions I ask are if they would like me to go back over anything or if anything did not make sense to them. I always give people the freedom to talk if they wish because remember a reading is their time and is meant to be a therapeutic and healing space for them. Having a place to voice their feelings without judgment can be cleansing and incredibly healing. Having said that I tell people in the very beginning of the call “you can talk if you would like or not say a word the entire time. This is your session. I want you to be comfortable!”
Again, this work is sacred to me! Myself, Amanda Meder, Chayla Bear, Susan Olney, and many others are trying very hard to bring the light back to spirituality. We want to show people how down to Earth it is and how beautiful and healing it can be when done with love and the right intentions.
Now for the fun stuff! You wanted to know if psychics and mediums can actually get specifics?
The answer is yes, psychics and mediums can give precise details! This is why when I am giving a reading, and a loved one steps forward I validate them to my client by bringing forth their personality, specific things they say, how they passed, an appearance, etc. The client will know their character – I will not! Saying “your grandmother is here and she loves you” is not enough information for you. A client needs to know without a doubt that it is, in fact, her grandmother!
A good reading can be more life-changing than years of therapy. If the messages are accurate, true to you, and provide closure, the benefits are undeniable.
Mediumship Readings With Specific Details
Just recently, I had someone who like yourself had experienced a few less than great mediumship readings. She never told me who she was hoping to hear from, but he showed up anyway. After getting healing messages for her life and loving guidance from her team felt a husband step forward. I delivered a few personality traits and messages, and she confirmed it was indeed her husband.
She broke down into tears though when I asked her about his ponytail!
I said, “I am not sure why, but he keeps pointing to his hair. I keep seeing a ponytail, and he won’t quit showing it to me until I tell you. Did he happen to have a ponytail or something when he was younger?”
She simultaneously burst into laughter and tears and said that he was SO SO SO proud of his hair. His hair was something he loved about himself. He also showed me their daughter as a male energy and showed sports everywhere on the wall in her room. To be honest, this was confusing to me until at the end she told me she always tells her daughter she was the son her father never had. My client confirmed that her daughter was in fact very masculine and sports was their thing.
This is how spirit delivers specific details for you! They bring through moments, traits, and memories that you will know about!
I have one more thing to bring to you before I let you go, remember that all mediums are psychic, but not all psychics are mediums. This means that mediums connect directly with spirit so they will “see” more specific messages than a psychic. Psychics use their intuition to pick up on and read energy. One is not better than the other…just different! So this is something to keep in mind when going for your next reading!
I do hope this helps and thank you again for your question!
With so much love, Ashley