My Partner And I Have Different Spiritual Beliefs Can It Ever Work Out?
I will never forget the moment those words left his lips. They completely crushed me. I swear I felt my heart break in 1,000 pieces. While at the same time I felt my love for myself explode as the words left my lips that have could have ended our marriage that very second. In that moment we discovered the severity of our very different spiritual beliefs and I wondered if our marriage could survive it.
“I’m sorry but this is weird. It’s all weird. What you’re doing is weird. This isn’t who I married. They don’t give you a book on what to do when your wife talks to dead people.”
Ouch. But then….
“You’re right, they don’t. But I have finally FINALLY found myself. I have finally accepted who I am. I am not going “back in the closet” to make you or anyone else comfortable. How is it fair that everyone else can be comfortable around me except for me? This is who I am and it’s who I’ve always been. You can either accept it or we can go our separate ways. The choice is yours”
Then I thought “oh sh*t… what if he decides to leave?”
We had spent a hot and stressful day renovating our new home and were stuck in 5 lanes of dead stop traffic. To say that tensions were already high would have been an understatement. I wanted to scream; I wanted to get out of the car and just run.
I was heartbroken, proud of myself, and scared to death all in the same moment. My heart had never pounded so loudly.
Stuck with literally nowhere to go and this – THIS was the moment that it was all coming to the surface? It was as if the universe planned it that way. If we had such strong spiritual differences and spirit was such a huge part of my life I wondered how our marriage could ever work out?
We both sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity (but it was likely only 2 minutes) and then he spoke up.
“I’m not going anywhere but you’ve got to give me time. I don’t understand this. Everything about you is different…I just need time.”
Whew….what a relief. But to be honest that is where the real work on our relationship started.
We had been together since we were teenagers so naturally, we had seen many versions of each other over the years. This season of life that we were stepping into however was entirely new territory for us both. He was right; I was an entirely different person than the person he had married.
When we got married I was a wild child and a bit reckless at times. I gossiped about people, I was so so negative, and I generally was unhappy. I didn’t know myself at all. Somehow, he loved that girl anyway.
When that soul-crushing conversation was happening, I was nothing like the girl he married. I honestly didn’t recognize myself anymore so how could he?
My sense of humor changed because laughing at someone else’s expense didn’t appeal to me anymore. I became intentional with everything that I said, did, and thought. The people I surrounded myself with were different. I was speaking differently and turning away from negative people and conversations.
This change was certainly a positive one but it all happened very quickly.
As I learned more about my self I opened the hatch and my intuitive gifts flew back in. I became consumed with learning about mediumship, intuitive gifts, and how everything around us is connected.
Life became so magical and mysterious to me that it was the only thing I was interested in talking about.
In hindsight, I can see how that could be overwhelming for a partner but I needed to be there. I needed that piece of my life because it taught me to stand strong in my beliefs. It taught me who I was. Through my awakening, I saw the world with new eyes and for a while, I saw nothing but magic around me.
I was going through a strong but beautiful awakening. It did eventually mellow out and again I was able to mesh both my spiritual and physical worlds together with grace.
Close to 5 years later I type this for you to let you know that you’re not alone. You are not the only relationship that has been through this. Whether it’s religious differences, spiritual differences, or just seeing the world differently than your partner. The world needs contrast for without it, none of us would grow.
My husband is a firefighter and I am a medium.
I do not understand his job in the least and in fact I try not to think about it. Thinking about what he does when he is on the job brings about worry. I worry what he has seen and how it will affect him. I worry about him getting hurt. I worry about him getting sick. I worry about him getting enough sleep. And… I worry if he will come home to us.
His survival depends on him being grounded and logical. This is how he protects himself both mentally and physically on the job. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be surrounded by so much hurt and illness on a constant basis.
He is a healer and he is an empath to the full definition of the word. I help people to facilitate their own healing and I help them find closure while moving forward and bettering themselves.
Though our perspectives are completely different, we as people aren’t so different. He helps to heal the surface wounds. I help people to heal wounds unseen.
He is strong and loyal. My husband takes the world on his shoulders and doesn’t complain about a thing. He is the fixer of any and all problems – his own or stranger’s. My husband’s strength amazes me every day as I watch him give his all physically and energetically to those that he loves and those that he will never see again.
He is so overly grounded but I think he has to be.
As an intuitive, I feel energy, pain, happiness, and unspoken thoughts on another level. This can be challenging when you have such a strong partner who doesn’t want to show vulnerability.
Energy sensitive’s don’t always enjoy feeling the unspoken moods and emotions of other people. In situations where our partner’s energy is particularly “thick” we would love to be able to tune out of it…the thing is, we can’t.
Instead of prying it is my job to show him the lighter side. It’s my job to remind him to take the weights off. It’s my privilege to stay in my flow and to choose to see and explain things through love the best I can.
I remind him to relax and to flow with life. I commit to helping him to see the beauty of life in all situations. He reminds me to stay grounded, humble, and strong. We are opposites but we fit like a puzzle.
And on the days where I am not in my flow and I’m not seeing life through a lens of love he reminds me to be positive. He reminds me that life is just a reflection of my perception and when he does this… I know that he hears me even when I don’t think he’s listening.
Without contrast, we can not learn. Without challenge, we can not grow. It’s okay to be the yin to someone else’s yang.
With love,
Ashley